Have you ever had one of those days where you just can't get it together? Okay so maybe some of us experience this feeling a little more often than others. There is little to no food in our pantry. The kids are plundering through laundry on the sofa hoping to find socks that match. The only exercise I have had in a couple of weeks is leaping over the piles of dirty laundry on the floor. And that's only at home. I am no longer sure there is a desk in my office as all I see are stacks of paper! I just want to fall into the recliner, eat ice cream, and rotate between movies that make me cry till it hurts and those that make me laugh until I cry. I daydream more than any middle schooler in math class because that brief lapse of reality is sometimes what gets me through the rest of a very long day.
Yesterday morning I woke up early (as if there is any other option) and I gave myself the "put on your big girl pants" talk. I spent a moment reflecting about all of the amazing people and events in my life and I realized that all of my whining was just a momentary lapse in perspective and balance. Please understand that I am most grateful for this amazing opportunity and I have met some amazing folks and participated in numerous once-in-a-lifetime events. But I am human and I think we all have those days where we let life overwhelm us. I am so there! So after good conversations with close friends, I decided to take a deep breath and step back to see the big picture of my crazy, wonderful, and very full life.
Another friend suggested that I needed to reclaim my balance. Sounded good to me. I spent some time thinking about the idea of balance. It sounds so easy to say things like: set boundaries, eat dinner together, and spend only a set amount of time at work. But it is so difficult to put that into practice! In part, I think the nature of our jobs as teachers does not allow us to leave “work” at work. We go to see our students perform in productions, perform in concerts and play sports. Because our work is about children, we often blur those lines and let work become a part of our “personal” life. We all enter teaching with the desire to change the world and the passion to do it. Our students become our children and our colleagues become our family. It is easy for some to walk away from the office, actually take a sick day, or even go on vacation. As for teachers, many of us feel as though taking time to even get sick is not an option. Therefore, we continue to blur the lines.
Secondly, I can’t speak for everyone but I know that I personally set myself up for failure in the category of balance. I was talking with a friend a few months ago about the struggle to keep it all together and the sheer chaos of my life at times. When she asked what I was going to do about it, I responded with my typical answer “I will make a list in priority order.” I am so good at lists! The problem is that I want to build Rome in a day. I want to change the course of my students’ lives for the better, provide wonderful professional development for my co-workers, make people laugh, organize my desk, clean my house, exercise, cook dinner, eat with my family, play outside, do laundry, pack lunchboxes, watch a good movie, go to bed on time with my entire “list” checked off. I realize now more than ever that I struggle with the fantasy that I can wake up one morning and be a more balanced person. When it doesn’t work out like I planned, I seek comfort in daydreams, my friends Ben &Jerry, and continuous over-committing. Rather than being realistic about balance, I set myself up for continued chaos. Anyone else struggle with this?
This past week I had a night at home and I took the kids out to eat dinner. We came home and we all piled in the recliner to watch The Karate Kid (Old School version as I feel the need to culture my children). Though I have seen this move numerous times, I think I may have learned more from Mr. Miyagi than Daniel-san this time.
Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand? - Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid
There is that word again…balance. It is easy to say but difficult to practice. Just like Daniel's skill development on the beach, this will take time and practice. Daniel did not develop this kind of balance over night. I wish there were an easy answer or a product on late night infomercials that could solve my balance issue. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix for balance in our lives. I must learn from Mr. Miyagia and Daniel-San. Balance will take practice, patience and most importantly, my desire to make it happen! And if all else fails....the "crane" position will deliver a great front kick to take out Johnny:)
To my fellow teachers who often struggle with over committing and losing balance, I understand. Teaching is a difficult, stressful, and emotional job. We all struggle with keeping all of the balls in the air and smiling all the while. Just remember to take a deep breath and reflect on the amazing work you have done and the great things you have yet to accomplish. We can all achieve balance one step at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment